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Hallowe'en Jokes!

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Why don't skeletons go out on the town?
Because they have no body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead end streets ...

What does daddy ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

How does a ghost go on holiday?
By scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

What is a ghoul's favourite drink?
Slime juice ...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A steak sandwich...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

What's a monster's favorite bean?
A human bean.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always goblin his food

What does a ghost have on top of his ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?

Who was the famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.

Who was the famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes

Who was the famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

Where do American werewolves live?
In Howllywood, California

Where do American goblins live?
In North and South Scarolina.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A sour-puss

Why was the skeleton frightened to cross the road?
Because he had no guts.

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

Why did Dracula visit the doctor?
Because he was coffin.

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him some screws.

What can't you give the headless horseman?
A headache.

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get a-head in life.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a party?
A boo-tie.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What does Dracula drink at breakfast?
Coffin with scream and sugar.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

What do they teach at Witches school?

Why does a witch ride a broom?
Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.

What do you call two witches living together?

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Happy Halloween

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